How to ask for mental health support when you have IBD

Living with inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) can affect more than just your body. It can also affect how you feel, what you worry about, and how you handle everyday life.

You might feel anxious about having a flare at school, frustrated about missing out on things with friends, or overwhelmed by appointments, medication, and symptoms. Sometimes, you might feel sad, worried, angry, or exhausted without really knowing why.

If you've been struggling with your feelings, you might wonder whether you should tell someone. Perhaps you're worried they won't understand, you'll upset your family, or they'll think you're not coping.

Asking for mental health support can feel scary, especially if you're not used to talking about your feelings. But you don't have to wait until things become unbearable before reaching out.

Looking after your mental health is just as important as looking after your physical health. You deserve support with both.

💭 How can I tell if I need mental health support?

Everyone has difficult days. Feeling upset before an appointment, worrying about a flare, or getting frustrated when you miss out on something is completely understandable.

But sometimes, difficult feelings can start affecting your everyday life.

You might notice that you:

• Feel worried or anxious a lot of the time.

• Feel sad, hopeless, or unlike yourself.

• Find it difficult to sleep because you're worrying.

• Stop enjoying activities you usually love.

• Avoid school, friends, or activities because of anxiety.

• Feel overwhelmed by having to manage IBD.

• Worry constantly about your symptoms or what might happen next.

• Feel lonely, misunderstood, or different from everyone else.

• Find it difficult to concentrate or get through your usual routine.

You don't need to experience all these things to deserve help. Even one feeling that's becoming difficult to manage is worth talking about.

You also don't have to know exactly what's wrong. Sometimes, you just know that things feel harder than they used to.

🫂 Who can I talk to?

There are lots of people who can help you with your mental health. You don't have to figure everything out by yourself.

A parent or carer

If you feel comfortable talking to them, a parent or carer can be a good place to start. They might help you explain how you've been feeling, arrange an appointment, or find someone to talk to.

Your IBD nurse or doctor

Your healthcare team understands that living with IBD can be challenging. They can listen to your concerns and help you find the right support.

A school counsellor or trusted teacher

If your feelings are affecting school, friendships, or concentration, a school counsellor or teacher may be able to help. You don't need to wait until things become really difficult to speak to them.

A psychologist or mental health professional

A psychologist can help you understand your feelings and develop ways to manage anxiety, stress, low mood, or the emotional challenges of living with a long-term condition.

Another trusted adult

If talking to your parent or carer doesn't feel comfortable, you could speak to another adult you trust, such as a relative, coach, or school wellbeing worker.

You can start with whoever feels safest to talk to. You don't have to tell everyone at once.

🗣️ What if I don't know what to say?

Sometimes, the hardest part is finding the words.

You might know that you're struggling but feel awkward saying it out loud. You might worry that you'll cry, forget what you wanted to say, or struggle to explain how you feel.

That's okay. You don't need to have the perfect words.

You could try saying:

• "I've been feeling really overwhelmed lately, and I think I need some help."

• "I'm finding it harder to cope with having IBD than I used to."

• "I've been worrying a lot, and it's starting to affect my sleep."

• "I don't really know what's wrong, but I haven't been feeling like myself."

• "Can you help me find someone I can talk to?"

If saying it out loud feels too difficult, you could write it in a message or show someone this article.

You can also write down a few things you've been experiencing before you talk to someone. This might help you explain what's happening if you feel nervous.

You don't have to explain everything perfectly to deserve support.

😟 What if I'm embarrassed about asking for help?

You might worry that other people will think you're weak, dramatic, or unable to cope.

You might also feel that you should be able to manage your feelings yourself, especially if you've already had to deal with so much because of IBD.

But needing help doesn't mean you've failed.

Living with a long-term condition can involve a lot of uncertainty, change, and emotional stress. Even if you usually feel positive, there may be times when everything feels like too much.

Talking to someone is a way of looking after yourself, not a sign that you can't cope.

You don't need to wait until you're crying every day or struggling to get out of bed. Getting support early can help you understand your feelings before they become harder to manage.

And remember, you don't have to be embarrassed if you cry while talking. It's okay to feel emotional when you're discussing something important.

💚 What if people don't understand how I feel?

Sometimes, people might not realise how much IBD affects your mental health.

They might focus on your physical symptoms and assume you're fine if your tests look good or you're not having a flare. They might say things like, "At least you're feeling better now," without realising that you could still be struggling emotionally.

This can feel frustrating or lonely.

If someone doesn't understand straight away, try explaining how things have been affecting you.

You could say:

• "Even when my IBD is under control, I still worry about it."

• "I'm finding it difficult to deal with the emotional side of having IBD."

• "I don't need you to fix everything. I just need you to listen."

• "I know I might look okay, but I've been struggling inside."

Sometimes, people need help understanding what you're going through.

If the first person you talk to doesn't listen or take your feelings seriously, that doesn't mean your feelings don't matter. Try reaching out to another trusted adult or healthcare professional who can help.

🩺 Can my IBD team help with my mental health?

Yes. Your IBD team can be an important source of support.

Your doctor or IBD nurse can help you talk through concerns about symptoms, treatment, school, friendships, or worries about the future.

They may also be able to refer you to a psychologist or another mental health professional who has experience supporting children and teenagers with long-term health conditions.

Sometimes, physical symptoms and emotional wellbeing can affect each other. For example, anxiety can make it harder to cope with appointments, while pain, fatigue, and unpredictable symptoms can increase stress.

This doesn't mean your symptoms are imaginary or that IBD is simply caused by stress. IBD is a physical condition, and you deserve proper medical care as well as emotional support.

If you're worried about something, tell your healthcare team. They can help you work out what support might be useful.

🌱 What can I do while I'm waiting for support?

Getting help can take time, but there are small things you can do in the meantime to support yourself.

• Talk to someone you trust. You don't have to carry difficult feelings on your own while you wait for an appointment.

• Make time for things you enjoy. Music, drawing, gaming, reading, or spending time with friends can give you a break from worrying.

• Write down your feelings. Keeping a journal can help you notice what you're experiencing and what might be making things harder.

• Try gentle ways to relax. Listening to music, taking a comfortable break, or practising slow breathing may help when you feel overwhelmed.

• Keep your routine flexible. Rest when you need to and ask for help when everyday tasks feel difficult.

• Be honest about how you're feeling. You don't have to pretend you're okay just to stop other people worrying.

These ideas aren't a replacement for professional support if you're struggling, but they may help you get through difficult moments.

You don't have to do everything on this list. Start with whatever feels manageable.

🧡 What if I need help urgently?

If your feelings become overwhelming, you feel unable to keep yourself safe, or you have thoughts about hurting yourself, please tell a trusted adult straight away. You don't have to face these feelings alone, and help is available.

If you're in immediate danger, call your local emergency number or go to the nearest hospital emergency department.

If you're in Australia

• Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 — free, confidential support for young people aged 5–25, available 24/7.

  
  

If you're in the USA

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 for free, confidential crisis support, available 24/7.

If you're in the UK

• Childline: Call 0800 1111 for free, confidential support for anyone under 19. Available 24 hours a day.

If you're in Canada

• Kids Help Phone: Call 1-800-668-6868 or text CONNECT to 686868 for support, available 24/7.

• 988 Suicide Crisis Helpline: Call or text 988 for crisis support, available 24/7.

  Canada

  
  

If you're in New Zealand

• Youthline: Call 0800 376 633 or text 234 for support.

• Need to Talk?: Call or text 1737 to speak with a trained counsellor, available 24/7.

  
  

You can also ask a parent or carer, IBD nurse, doctor, school counsellor, or another trusted adult to help you find support in your country

Remember: You don't have to wait until things feel unbearable before asking for help. Your mental health matters, and you deserve to be listened to, supported, and taken seriously. 💚

⭐ Remember this

Asking for mental health support can feel like a big step, but you don't have to take it alone.

You don't need to wait until things get really bad, know exactly what's wrong, or find the perfect words. You can start with a simple conversation with someone you trust.

Living with IBD can be challenging, and your feelings deserve attention just as much as your physical symptoms do.

You are not weak for struggling, and you are not a burden for asking for help. You deserve support, understanding, and the chance to feel better. 💚

This article is for general information and support only. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are struggling with your feelings, speak to a trusted adult or healthcare professional. If you feel unsafe or need urgent help, tell a trusted adult immediately or contact emergency services.