Relaxation techniques for children with anxiety

Anxiety can make everyday situations feel overwhelming for children. They might worry about school, friendships, medical appointments or what could happen if they feel unwell. Sometimes anxiety shows up as a racing heart, tense muscles, a sore tummy, difficulty sleeping or trouble concentrating.

For children living with Crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis (IBD), these feelings can be particularly difficult to manage. Unpredictable symptoms, hospital visits and worries about needing the toilet can all contribute to stress.

Relaxation techniques can help children learn to recognise when they feel anxious and practice ways to feel calmer. They will not make every worry disappear, but with regular practice, children can develop useful skills to help them cope with challenging moments.

🧠 How relaxation techniques can help

When a child feels anxious, their body's stress response can become activated. Their heart may beat faster, their breathing may change and their muscles may tense. These reactions are part of the body's natural response to perceived danger, even when the situation is not physically dangerous.

Relaxation techniques encourage children to slow down, notice what is happening in their bodies and direct their attention towards something calming.

Practicing these skills may help children:

• Recognise early signs of anxiety.

• Feel calmer during stressful situations.

• Manage tension and restlessness.

• Prepare for medical appointments or school activities.

• Develop confidence in handling difficult feelings.

• Establish a calming bedtime routine.

Children respond differently to relaxation techniques. One child might enjoy breathing exercises, while another may prefer drawing, listening to music or moving their body. The goal is to find what works for your child rather than expecting every technique to suit everyone.

🌬️ Practice slow, gentle breathing

Breathing exercises are a simple way to help children pause when they feel worried or overwhelmed.

When children are anxious, they may breathe quickly or shallowly without realising it. Gently slowing their breathing can help them settle.

Try this together:

1. Sit somewhere comfortable.

2. Ask your child to breathe in gently through their nose.

3. Encourage them to breathe out slowly, without forcing the breath.

4. Repeat for a few comfortable breaths.

5. Stop if they feel dizzy, uncomfortable or more anxious.

You could make it playful by asking them to imagine smelling a flower and gently blowing on a pinwheel.

Keep the exercise short and relaxed. Children do not need to take unusually deep breaths or hold their breath.

Helpful tip: Practice when your child is already calm so they are familiar with the technique before a stressful moment.

🎈 Try balloon breathing

Balloon breathing is a child-friendly way to introduce slow breathing, particularly for younger children.

Ask your child to imagine that their tummy is a balloon.

As they breathe in gently, they can imagine the balloon becoming a little bigger. As they breathe out slowly, they can picture the balloon gently deflating.

Encourage them to keep their shoulders relaxed and avoid forcing their tummy out.

You can make up a little story about a balloon floating gently into the sky, or simply practice together for a minute.

For children with IBD who experience abdominal pain or discomfort, focusing on the tummy may feel unpleasant. If that happens, try ordinary gentle breathing instead or choose a different technique.

🧘 Use progressive muscle relaxation

Anxiety can cause children to tense their muscles without noticing. Progressive muscle relaxation helps them recognise the difference between tension and relaxation.

The idea is to gently tighten one muscle group, then release it and notice how it feels.

Try a simple version:

1. Ask your child to squeeze their hands into gentle fists for a few seconds.

2. Ask them to release their hands and notice the difference.

3. Invite them to lift their shoulders towards their ears, then let them drop.

4. Ask them to scrunch their face briefly, then relax it.

5. Finish by sitting quietly and noticing how their body feels.

Keep each movement gentle and comfortable. Skip any muscle group that hurts, and never ask your child to tense an area affected by pain.

This exercise can be particularly useful before bedtime or after a demanding school day.

🌿 Try a grounding exercise

When children feel anxious, they may become caught up in thoughts about what could go wrong. Grounding helps them bring their attention back to the present moment.

One popular technique is the 5–4–3–2–1 exercise.

Invite your child to notice:

• 5 things they can see.

• 4 things they can feel, such as their feet on the floor.

• 3 things they can hear.

• 2 things they can smell.

• 1 thing they can taste, if comfortable.

There is no need to get every step exactly right. If five things feel like too much, simply ask your child to name three things they can see.

Grounding can be practiced at home, in the car before school or in a quiet place before a medical appointment.

It is a way to redirect attention, not a promise that anxiety will disappear immediately.

🌈 Use guided imagery

Guided imagery involves imagining a place or situation that feels peaceful, safe or comforting.

Ask your child to picture somewhere they enjoy being. It might be a beach, a favourite park, their bedroom or an imaginary world.

Invite them to imagine:

• What they can see around them.

• The sounds they might hear.

• The temperature of the air.

• What the ground feels like beneath their feet.

• What makes this place feel comfortable.

You could guide them through the scene using a calm voice or find a child-friendly guided imagery recording.

Some children find visualisation difficult or prefer not to close their eyes. Let them keep their eyes open or choose another activity.

If an exercise brings up uncomfortable memories or feelings, stop and offer reassurance.

🎨 Encourage drawing, colouring or creative activities

Not every child finds it easy to sit still and concentrate on their breathing. For some, relaxing is easier when their hands are busy.

Drawing, colouring, painting, building with blocks or playing with modelling clay can provide a calming focus.

You could invite your child to:

• Draw what their worry looks like.

• Colour a picture using colours that make them feel calm.

• Create a picture of their favourite place.

• Make a worry character and give it a funny name.

• Draw something they are looking forward to.

These activities do not need to be used as therapy or lead to a conversation. Sometimes a child simply wants to create something without explaining how they feel.

Creative activities can also give children an alternative way to express feelings they find difficult to put into words.

🎵 Listen to calming music

Music can be a useful part of a relaxation routine, particularly when a child is feeling restless or finding it difficult to settle.

Ask your child what they enjoy. It could be gentle instrumental music, nature sounds, familiar songs or a calming audio story.

You might create a short playlist together for:

• Getting ready for bed.

• Relaxing after school.

• Travelling to a medical appointment.

• Taking a quiet break during a difficult day.

Some children find music distracting or overstimulating, so follow their preferences.

Music can be a helpful tool, but it should not become another task your child feels they have to complete perfectly.

🚶 Try gentle movement

Relaxation does not always mean sitting quietly. Some children feel calmer after moving their bodies.

Depending on their age, interests and physical health, activities might include:

• Taking a gentle walk.

• Stretching comfortably.

• Dancing to a favourite song.

• Doing child-friendly yoga.

• Playing outside.

• Moving around while listening to music.

Movement can help children release tension and shift their attention away from worries.

For children with IBD, activity needs to match how they are feeling physically. During a flare, when fatigue is significant or when pain is present, rest may be more appropriate. Encourage your child to follow the advice of their healthcare team about activity when symptoms are affecting them.

🛏️ Create a calming bedtime routine

Anxiety can make it harder for children to settle at night. They may replay the day's events, worry about tomorrow or become concerned about symptoms returning.

A predictable bedtime routine can help signal that it is time to wind down.

You could try:

• Keeping bedtime and wake-up times reasonably consistent.

• Reducing stimulating activities before bed.

• Reading a familiar story together.

• Listening to quiet music or an audio story.

• Practicing gentle breathing.

• Talking briefly about tomorrow's plans.

• Writing down worries that can be revisited the next day.

If your child worries about becoming unwell overnight, acknowledge the fear rather than dismissing it. Reassure them that they can tell you if they need help and, where appropriate, review the plan you have made with their healthcare team.

Persistent sleep difficulties are worth discussing with your child's healthcare professional.

💬 Help your child use calming self-talk

Children sometimes experience anxious thoughts such as:

• "Something bad is going to happen."

• "What if I get sick at school?"

• "I won't be able to cope."

• "Everyone will laugh at me."

You do not need to tell your child to stop thinking this way. Instead, help them find a more balanced and reassuring response.

For example:

Avoid promising that nothing difficult will happen. The aim is to help your child feel more prepared, even when they cannot control every situation.

🩺 Relaxation techniques for children with IBD

For children with Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis, relaxation can be especially helpful around situations that feel unpredictable.

You might practice a few techniques together before:

School: Try grounding or gentle breathing before leaving home, especially if your child worries about toilet access or symptoms.

Medical appointments: Use guided imagery, music or a familiar activity while waiting. Let your child choose what feels comforting.

Blood tests or procedures: Ask the healthcare team what support is available. Distraction, preparation and age-appropriate explanations may help alongside relaxation techniques.

After a difficult day: Offer a quiet activity, creative time or gentle movement, depending on your child's energy and symptoms.

During a flare: Focus on comfort and emotional support rather than expecting your child to use relaxation to control their symptoms.

It is important to remember that relaxation techniques do not treat intestinal inflammation or replace IBD medication and medical care. Anxiety and physical symptoms can occur together, and worsening symptoms should not automatically be attributed to stress.

If your child is struggling with anxiety, their IBD team may be able to recommend a psychologist or other mental health professional familiar with chronic illness.

👨‍👩‍👧 How parents can help relaxation become a habit

Children often learn new skills more easily when they practice with someone they trust. You do not need to become an expert in relaxation or set aside a large amount of time.

Start with these simple steps:

• Let your child choose: Offer two or three techniques and see which they prefer.

• Keep it short: One or two minutes may be enough to begin with.

• Practice when things are calm: It can be harder to learn a new skill during a moment of intense anxiety.

• Model the techniques yourself: You could practice gentle breathing together.

• Avoid turning it into a chore: If a technique is frustrating, stop and try something else.

• Praise effort: Recognise when your child tries a skill, even if they still feel anxious afterwards.

• Keep expectations realistic: Relaxation may help your child feel calmer, but it will not resolve every worry or work instantly.

It can also help to ask your child which technique they would like to use when they feel overwhelmed. Having a choice can make them feel more in control.

🆘 When relaxation techniques may not be enough

Relaxation techniques are useful coping tools, but some children need additional support with anxiety.

Speak with your child's GP, IBD team or a qualified mental health professional if anxiety:

• Frequently interferes with school attendance or friendships.

• Makes it difficult to sleep or take part in everyday activities.

• Leads to repeated panic or intense distress.

• Causes ongoing avoidance of medical care or other important activities.

• Persists despite reassurance and practical support.

A mental health professional can help identify what is driving the anxiety and recommend appropriate strategies. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is one approach that can help children understand anxious thoughts and gradually develop ways to cope with them.

If your child talks about harming themselves or not wanting to be alive, seek urgent professional help.

💚 The takeaway

Relaxation techniques can give children practical tools for managing anxious feelings, from gentle breathing and grounding to creative activities, music and movement. The best approach is one that suits your child's age, interests and needs. Start small, practice together and remind your child that they do not have to make every worry disappear to be doing well. For children living with IBD, these skills can be part of a wider support plan that includes understanding adults, appropriate medical care and help with emotional wellbeing.